Its been a whole year and my New Year's Resolution, well the only one I remember, was to stop looking up tabloids. And yet here I am looking at pictures and articles of Trisha Yearwood and hell I went through 97 pictures of Who Wore It Best otherwise known as who the fuck cares!
Yikes, this year has been one hell of a crazy year! Not in a good way because I keep being not present and reminiscent of the past, of those days where I didn't look back (ie freshman year).
I am a third year in college now and I still don't have it figured out....yikes I think back now (look I'm doing it again) to junior year in high school and I was doing swell. I excelled at math, HISTORY, and was making and hanging out with friends, and giving a damn in the present. And me now I spend more time thinking about what could be and what had been than now.
I guess for this new year my resolution will be to be MINDFUL. Not only with the daily meditation, but everything I do, recognize ok Helen you are on Youtube or you are flipping through old photos and disengage and do something else with your time.
Eat with friends (do boogie museum dates cuz I love museums, and hang with the sis (not just as a last resort like do something cool), go to aerial classes, go work out (haha) or stretch, think about what you are eating (like your freshman year) and stop walling your self off, and most importantly keep up with EMAILS. That is so important and I learned that freshman year when Melly helped me to keep it up.
Be accountable for MY time.
No more excuses, no more avoiding situations.
That will make you smarter and wiser.
This year can change and see I can't quite remember 2014 because I wasn't present.....
I have to worry about my self and not worry about how others' lives are or how I'm not integrating with them or whatever that means.
Be a better me for me.
Peace.
EDIT: and to write, to myself about anything to not only get better at typing but to focus my thoughts
