End to 2014

Its been a whole year and my New Year's Resolution, well the only one I remember, was to stop looking up tabloids. And yet here I am looking at pictures and articles of Trisha Yearwood and hell I went through 97 pictures of Who Wore It Best otherwise known as who the fuck cares!
Yikes, this year has been one hell of a crazy year! Not in a good way because I keep being not present and reminiscent of the past, of those days where I didn't look back (ie freshman year).

I am a third year in college now and I still don't have it figured out....yikes I think back now (look I'm doing it again) to junior year in high school and I was doing swell. I excelled at math, HISTORY, and was making and hanging out with friends, and giving a damn in the present.  And me now I spend more time thinking about what could be and what had been than now.

I guess for this new year my resolution will be to be MINDFUL. Not only with the daily meditation, but everything I do, recognize ok Helen you are on Youtube or you are flipping through old photos and disengage and do something else with your time.
Eat with friends (do boogie museum dates cuz I love museums, and hang with the sis (not just as a last resort like do something cool), go to aerial classes, go work out (haha) or stretch, think about what you are eating (like your freshman year) and stop walling your self off, and most importantly keep up with EMAILS. That is so important and I learned that freshman year when Melly helped me to keep it up.
Be accountable for MY time.
No more excuses, no more avoiding situations.
That will make you smarter and wiser.

This year can change and see I can't quite remember 2014 because I wasn't present.....
I have to worry about my self and not worry about how others' lives are or how I'm not integrating with them or whatever that means.

Be a better me for me.
Peace.

EDIT: and to write, to myself about anything to not only get better at typing but to focus my thoughts

Best UCLA Experience So Far!!!!

The show was absolutely awesome!!!! I loved every single second of it!  What a great decision to join this group of lovely dancers!  And I didn't mean for there to be so many selfies....but there were!

WORD

#solo

This Is What Giving Up Looks Like

Fuck finals! #teamfuckedforfinals! :(
Yoga/stretching instead.  #oopstoes

Le me

not giving

a fuck.

Happy finals to all...!

Monday's for Me

Soooo no matter how edited this picture is, it is a no makeup selfie.  #yayme! #samedifference?  I'm back to doing these random Monday pictures to #bringbackmyself.

Let It Go

Welp...I have attempted to restore my blog to how it what before I kinda deleted everything. I have figured if you are reading this...who cares! Welcome, keep reading, I don't care anymore if you read about my thoughts and my random life.  I love that no one really knows that I have this crap, just so I can type whatever the hell I want and it becomes my little place to vent.  It's nothing against you nor do I have anything to hide, I put it on the internet for goodness sake!, but I just am not comfortable with the idea of know who exactly is reading.  But I'm trying to let it go :) And if you do happen to chance upon it, I guess yay me! (And you huh?)

On the other hand, I have found out one of my biggest pet peeves.  Reading my shit while I am sitting right there, like this blog.  Or looking at my Facebook or even reading a paper I wrote right in front of me when I didn't ask you too.  To me, it is just hella weird and uncomfortable to watch you read what I am writing right in front of me.  I don't know why, maybe I don't want you to read it, or the fact that I don't want to have to guess or think about what the millions of possible thoughts you could have while thinking about what I wrote.  So please if you are reading this, please kindly tell me to leave to room or kindly do so yourself. 

(Also....can you tell I watched Frozen again today?  #congratsontheocarsadele ;) #gotobed)

Love Is Worth It by Brittany Ray ft Richie McDonald

This is the exact description of my life. Only the roles are reversed and "he" opened the door.....
"If he says no okay. Love is worth it...Sometimes you gotta take chances to find that someone. Get over your fears, lay it all on the line."